sinéad's lifestream

Epic landscapes have always captured my imagination, emphasis on the imagination. American movies often feature grand scenery, and having grown up on a diet of science fiction and fantasy movies I had always associated these incredible places as unnatural and purely cinematic. The documentary series Fry in America reprogrammed me, in more ways than one. Not only did it give me a broader understanding of the diversity that exisits in America culture, it also showcased the grand natural landscape of the American states, without the Hollywood lense distorting and overemphasising.

Lake Powell and Monument Valley, and the entire state of Utah is a fixation of mine since I watched the documentary series (and I’m already planning my visit in 2010). Scenes from 2001: A Space Odyssey and Back to the Future were filmed here, and of course, many many westerns. The ethereal beauty of these spots, especially Lake Powell, remind me so much of a Martian landscape, the addition of the unnatural water (Lake Powell is a man made lake) bring to mind the science fiction concept of teraforming – taking an inhospitable planet and changing it’s atmosphere to make it more Earth like.

Putting a standard film crew, an English gentlemen and his taxicab into these scenes gave me perspective, and I can now understand why everything in America is so… big. The roads, the buildings, the personalities. Being surrounded by these incredibly huge, monstrous natural creations, it’s only human to attempt to fit into that landscape. I imagine the early European settlers felt quite small and insignificant here. I imagine, I will too.

Lee (a fellow Cyberpsychology student) and I visited the Science Gallery during Science Week to attend a lecture by Dr. Cynthia Breazeal, the founder and director of the Personal Robots Group at MIT. She introduced the attendees to the topics of Social Robotics and Human Robot Interaction, followed by a brief Q&A session.

Social Robotics

Social learning theory proposes that people learn new information and behaviors by watching other people. This is especially prominent in children, as they are social learners. The Personal Robots Group at MIT are applying learning theories and developmental psychology theories towards building child like robots that will have natural learning capacities. They are developing socially intelligent robots that will interact with humans in human-centric terms, work as peers, and learn from people. Instead of having people learn how to communicate with robots or how to teach them, instead they are developing robots that will be able to learn from humans through natural social interactions in real world environments.

The first step towards social learning in robotics is social mimicking or mirroring, as highlighted very recently by the research of US robiticist David Hanson. The MIT robot Leonardo demonstrated this ability back in 2005, Leonardo is an advanced robot capable of social learning, self-motivated learning and logical problem solving. Another robot MIT are working on is the Huggable – a multifunctional teddy bear like robot designed to be an educator, a communication device and a therapeutic companion. Through Huggable the MIT group has explored the concept of “the educator as a peer” going back to the theory of social learning and children.

Human Robot Interaction – “Are these robots naked?”

One of the most fascinating studies Dr. Breazeal highlighted during the lecture was a long term study where participants interacted with either a computer or with an anthropomorphised robotic device (has human like features e.g. a face). Both devices were weight management aids, acting as a social support, with a form of patient-therapist dialogue and input options for calories consumed, exercise etc. They found that participants interacted more often and for longer periods of time with the robot, despite the computer running the same software. They found that people felt a stronger alliance with and trusted the robot more. People named and clothed the robot (they did not do this with the computer). This research, and many other studies, has indicated that screen agents (e.g. the paperclip in Microsoft Word) are never as effective, and that the physical properties of the device do matter.

The Value of Robotics Today

Dr. Breazeal discussed how Robots don’t have to be anthropomorphic. Cars are becoming more like robots every day, and she suggested that they are no longer a tool but are a partner. She described the value of robotics – exploration, capturing data, and closer to her own research: using robotics to study the theoretical models of social and cognitive abilities in humans. Social robots can be applied to the study of how we communicate and solve problems and can offer insights into psychology, neuroscience and interface design. We can learn a great deal about our own behavior when we try to apply these theoretical models to robots.

“Robot’s aren’t going to replace us, they’re going to help and empower us, with strengths and abilities to compliment people.”

Questions relating back to science fiction concepts of robots replacing humans or overthrowing humanity were of course brought up during the Q&A session. Dr. Breazeal argued that these were fears that were culturally based and weren’t apparent in Eastern culture, in countries such as Japan robotics have always been associated with good and advances in robotics have always been embraced and encouraged. She suggested that because robots will learn from humans, their behavior will depend on what we teach them.

The “Un-canny-valley” was also brought up, this is a hypothesis that says that when robots look and act almost like real humans it cause a response of revulsion amongst actual humans. Dr. Breazeal argued that this was based on conjecture and was unreliable, that personal values, preferences and culture had a bigger impact upon response to anthropomorphisim.

Overall I was very impressed with the lecture by Dr. Breazeal – she demonstrated a serious passion for her work. Finally, to sum up what most of the lecture was like… when questioned about whether robots will ever having feelings she replied “Robots will not have human emotions, but maybe they can have robot emotions”.

What did 12 year old me spend all their pocket money on? A massive tower of science fiction videos, magazines and comics. Clearly I’d yet to discover “dating” or figured out what was NOT going to get me beaten up. When I cleared out my old room I found some of these magazines and comics, some of them go back as far as 1995. I was seriously obsessed with anything remotely related to science fiction when I was younger. I honestly think that if it wasn’t for science fiction I would never have developed a love for computers and science. I have my Dad to thank for introducing me to Star Trek when I was very young, I can still remember being upset about missing episodes of The Next Generation when we went on holidays to Butlins when I was 7 years old. These days I indulge with the odd book, and watching the new Battlestar Galactica.

My favourite item that I kept from my sci-fi obsessed past is the Star Trek The Next Generation Interactive Video Boardgame – A Klingon Challenge.

“This interactive adventure actually lets you board the U.S.S. Enterprise and “star” in a special Star Trek: The Next Generation episode!” The whole aim of the game is to overthrow a Klingon (on the starboard bow?) who has taken over the Enterprise. Kavok, the Klingon in question, appears on your TV screen every few minutes, generally angry and screaming insults at you. Just like in any boardgame there are various cards you can collect that will randomise your game play.

This card reads “You consult with a holodeck image of Captain Picard and are reminded that members of the Federation always cooperate. EACH CREW MEMBER WILL NOW GIVE YOU THEIR NEXT TURN.” I just love the way they put that, how very 24th Century. Your reward at the end of the game is moving up the ranks to become Captain and/or “A medal of valour”.

How this was considered a fun way to spend an hour is beyond me, I honestly don’t think I ever managed to get the maximum 8 people to play this either. It’s a pity I have all the pieces but no instructions. Looks like it’s back to the Star Trek Drinking Games for me.

I’ve written before about how I like to de-clutter every once in awhile, and yesterday I was forced to  confront years of past hoarding. A massive collection of memories from my old childhood bedroom awaited me when I got home from work. Despite once being incredibly sentimental (the reason I had kept it all) these days I associate anything that holds no use as 100% expendable. This might seem callous, but I’ve learned that I can reduce my own stress when the space I occupy is kept tidy and I’m more efficient because of it. Also, sleep comes easier in a room that doesn’t need constant maintenance (i.e. tidying up crap I don’t use, all the time).

As I mentioned, I do have a sentimental streak. So, instead of being ruthless and throwing it all out without a second thought, I went through it all and took photos to retain some evidence. In doing so I took a journey backwards many many years, to the person I used to be and the person I hope I can be again.

I am a Creative Person

The biggest part of this haul was a collection of sketches and paintings from school. I had once been very passionate about art, taking honours art for the Junior Certificate. I honestly can’t believe how many hours all of these pieces must have taken me. I don’t know what changed inside me and stopped me from continuing. Lack of confidence? A mature realisation that I wasn’t really an artist? I instead perused History, Biology and Business Studies. Choosing these subjects out of desire to have a well rounded education, and to keep my options open for whatever college subject I would choose. I wonder what would have happened if I had have kept doing art? After I dropped art I would channel some of my artistic creativity into Photoshop projects, having always been equally interested in computers in my youth, but then I didn’t take that path either. I’m certainly no graphic designer. These days I try to photograph the beautiful things I see, and yet, this frustrates me because what I really see, never seems to translate onto picture.

I am a Writer

English had always been my favourite subject and I had considered, quite seriously, studying this in college. “To Sinéad, an Editor, Author and Poet – and all before you left school.” this is part of a goodbye message written by a teacher, written inside the cover of the school magazine. This is something I worked long and hard on. I edited the magazine when I was in 6th year and from the age of 14 up until I left school at 18 I would write and write and write. Short stories, random articles for the school magazine and (as embarrassed as I am to admit it now) mountains of poetry. The school magazine was a serious creative outlet for me. I can’t imagine being that brave today, putting myself out there like that, creating something of my own and sharing it with strangers. This is why I’m writing this now, in an effort to be more courageous with my writing. I don’t know why I stopped being myself and starting holding my real self back. “Excellent short story, you’re a talented writer Sinead!” I found pages, upon pages of handwritten short stories, many which gained me A’s and A+’s from my English teacher.  I don’t gloat, I am simply shocked. Reading them now, I can’t believe these are mine.

“Most people take their time for granted. Most do not take into consideration that many things can happen in a few short seconds. A heart can discontinue beating, discoveries can be made, the human mind can process and file thoughts and memories into single cells.”

Most of my short stories are incredibly long, with many “Keep your essays brief!” “Wonderful, but not exam material.” notes left by teachers in the margins. “Excellent detail, very well expressed. Time Limit?” At 16 and 17 years of age I had no restraints, I was as creative as I wanted to be with my words. I didn’t care about fitting the exam mould and never reigned in my creative self. Poetry was something very dear to me at that time too. I had so much of it published in the school magazine. I personally think this took guts. Or maybe I was just naive? But, how is it that I was stronger and more confident with myself then, than I am now?

No more.

I blog. Yes. But I don’t utilise it the same way that others do. At the moment as part of my college research I am studying why people blog, and it sounds more wonderful the way it is described there. Millions of people blog to express themselves, as an outlet, in an cathartic effort. There are writers like Darragh Doyle that take my breath away with his openness, his honesty and it is courageous, and beautiful. I’ve spoken to my girlfriend, Jen, on many occasions about how I wish I could be just like Darragh. But I blog too seriously. I would rather been seen as an academic, because the reality is I’m terribly insecure about being seen as anything else, because I’m stuck in a job that I dislike, that has no connection to who I am or what I’m passionate about today and I am desperate to be taken seriously. But why? It’s not making ME feel more serious. It’s not helping me with the goals I thought it would help me succeed in.

This blog post is my attempt at connecting with my past self and this, new blog project, is an attempt to be creative, a writer and ME again. And I’m terrified.

Let’s be terrified together? Who did YOU used to be? What parts of yourself do you wish you could connect with again? Write that post. Take that photo. Create that art.

It’s not about whether you are creative enough, but whether you will free yourself to express it.